In hindsight looking at the first two topics for the magazine: efforts for and comparing, it seems natural that perfectionism should be up next. After all these guys are all close
cousins.
You have a tendency to “effort” due to your “comparing” which is all done with the grand design of making sure everything is "just right" before you do a damn thing.
And now for a brief rant on the things that would NOT exist if their inventors had been total perfectionists: cars, light bulbs,
tampons, air-conditioning, radio, TV, cable TV, cell phones...
Can you spot the pattern? Just about anything that you find useful in your day-to-day existence was created by somebody somewhere who pushed past the urge to have it "just right" and got on with it.
I heard a quote recently that I liked:
Imperfect Action always beats Perfect Inaction – Harry Truman
Perfection sucks.
You don’t have to get it right, x you just have to get
it going. (I am CLEARLY feeling very “quote-y”).
My favorite anti-perfection teaching I use all the time “You can't steer a parked car. Meaning, you have got to get in motion for me to even be able to course correct you were give you some feedback.
So since ego loves efforting, adores comparing, you can
fully expect that it is the President of the Fan Club of Perfection.
Here are easy instructions for HOW TO FAIL at the next important thing you're going to do:
1) Decide that it's important. Really important. Preferably your life will just go to hell in a handbasket if "it
"doesn't happen.
This will ensure that all of your energy is negative and lack based. It will guarantee that your motivation is fearful which must fail by law.
2) Then decide there's only one way to do whatever it is you're doing or to get wherever it is you want to go. Just the
one.
On high spiritual terms this collapses the quantum field of possibilities so that it becomes impossible for you to see any option other than the single one you've identified, which makes it WAY easier for you to fail.
3) Now you should demand that the thing happen… Right
now. Yes urgently. Critically. Right this moment.
Under no circumstances should you consider the possibility of allowing divine timing to assist or that God can veer off of your schedule. Be firm, let the Universe know you need it right the hell now.
4) At every moment of uncertainty, worry about failing.
Make doubly sure that you are focused on the worst possible outcome at ALL times, so that you only notice things that will lead you to that dark outcome. (Thank Goodness for the Law of Like to Like!)
5)
Consult as many other people as possible who do not believe that you can succeed.
It can be difficult to ensure a total failure, however surrounding yourself with people who are used to failing themselves and/or watching you fail and then discussing your plans with them endlessly is a very good start.
6) Often overlooked but nonetheless critical, is try to do as little as possible toward the outcome. Avoid, delay, procrastinate, research, plan and argue are all great tactics here to avoid taking action.
Getting into motion and receiving feedback that could actually tell you how to course correct and reach your goal would require you
to have to begin without certainty of success. That's sounds uncomfortable. So obviously, that's silly. Wait until you're totally certain.
7) If you can't bring yourself to simply expect to fail, please do the next closest thing and simply hope not to fail.
Thankfully, the doubt in the "hope" should successfully keep you from succeeding.
*******************************
Oh. Maybe I should have called that "7 Steps to Mastering Perfection?"
Or "How Your Ego Keeps You from Achieving Your Big Dreams While it LOOKS Like You Are Trying"
Yuck. Just to discuss this I had to use words I don't like - like the word "try." Try is a curse word to me. Long live
Master Yoda just nailed this one when he said:
Do or do not. There is no try.
In fact, when I encounter someone who has perfectionist tendencies - they will often tell me that they are… (please imagine me gritting my teeth) trying!
The special version of trying that they're doing usually involves Step 6 above.
Efforting. Comparing. Perfectionism.
Stop it.
Since I seem to be on a little bit of a roll, here is the quote that is powerful and true and a
little magical. It conveys everything I want you to learn and act on. This quote is the antidote to perfectionism.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back — concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream
you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
---Goethe
He's even got Commitment in there (Step 1 of Tanya's 4 Steps to Decide Anything). I love it. Make it your guide.