Rule #1 Thou Shalt Not Accommodate Unnecessarily
Help less than usual. (Seriously. Your usual makes you exhausted and annoyed right? Do a little less.)
I am an omnivore, apex predator!
Bring on the meat.
If you have a vegetarian (or sigh…gluten free vegan) coming they can really screw with your meal planning. Do not cancel Christmas Ham or Turkey for 1 person!
Tell them you’ll have green beans for them (2 things is stellar!) and ask if they need to bring something else to feel comfortable? I’d be happy to buy 3 different canned veggies but add hours of prep time? No.
Rule #2 Thou Shalt Not Alter the
Schedule
Set yourself a schedule that works for your family and then…hold it.
Your stress comes from someone asking at the last minute to push back your meal start time (that's been 24 hours in the making)
until “Uncle Bob” arrives. Just say no. You can do a special “all together” dessert once Bob has made it. Here is the wording, “Hmmm, what I CAN do is -------blank---. How can we make that work?“. Use that wording for all your "no's".
Rule #3 Thou Shall Seek Your Own Comfort
Pick out ONE goal that makes your holiday mean something to you.
Some folks like going to church on Christmas eve, some have to have children on site for 7am gift opening, some just want a quiet dinner with just THEIR household without 6 cousins and girlfriends.
Me? I’m building a Farmhouse Table. Make sure that you get that ONE thing and then you can be flexible on the rest.
Rule #4 Thou Shall Spread the Holiday Out
Everything gets easier if you don’t try to have ONE day be the WHOLE holiday.
You can make Rule #3 happen before or after the big day to make it easier. Ask each member of your family what their Rule #3 is and spread that out over the season so everyone feels they had their wish.
Multiple days for multiple wishes.
Rule #5 Thou Shall Not Spend Money Out of Fear
Begin weaning your children down on their holiday loot expectations. You love them ALL year right? Stop letting them buy into the media’s portrayal of love determined by your gift pile one
day out of 365.
This is identical to the media training men that his love is determined by the size of the engagement ring – one gift across a lifetime!
Email families that have lots of kids that you get guilted into buying for and let them know you are donating to a charity in their ENTIRE family’s name. Do they want Charity X or Charity Y?