Today's TRAINING: 4 Steps to Set Yourself Up for Success
Here are your 4 Steps: 1) Commitment 2) Clarity 3) Choices
4) Action
Think of whatever it is you want or need to do. More sales? New business? Weight loss? Take action on your coaching? (I like that one A LOT). Got it? Now let’s run it through the 4 steps.
Step 1: Commitment
Commitment is where an Alpha needs to pick what she's going to do. You're going to pick it and STICK. To actually stick, you need to know WHAT it is clearly and WHY you want to do it. (And hopefully you "want" to do it
instead of "need" to do it. We find ways to avoid stuff we “need” to do…)
The question for commitment is "WHAT am I doing and WHY?"
The surest way to torpedo any project is to begin without a clear vision as to the goal that you are
attempting to create. It wastes energy starting fuzzy.
Please note, that I did not say that you needed to know HOW you were going to create it. You don’t need the HOW, you do need to know WHAT you want to accomplish.
A really obvious and easy example is say
you want to enter a relationship with your perfect Alpha mate. You may not know "how" to meet him, but you can be very clear on WHAT IT IS YOU WANT and what kind of man he is.
I have an Alpha right now working on that goal and she has attracted a number of very high-quality suitors (a date transporting her in a private plane quality). I just sent her the notes we created on WHO
her man is, to remind her to stay on track with what she said she wanted originally - what she is COMMITTED to having. We figured out the WHO (her “what”) and God has been supplying the HOW.
Next, you need to know your WHY. The WHY is almost more important than the WHAT truthfully. If a woman is looking for a man to complete her, to overlook all of the areas in her life
that are full of emotional junk and chaos and "just love her anyway"… she is in TROUBLE. That WHY is it at cross purposes to the Universe's intention that we grow and heal our wounds.
Short answer: Not gonna work out. (You can’t opt of growing by having a mate that just says - “Nah, you’re fine.”)
When you're setting yourself up for success, it is critical that your why is clean and focused on your highest values.
Lastly, Alphas are ALL IN or ALL OUT women. So, you will be safest if you are all-in with whatever you're doing.
DANGER: Agreeing to partial commitments or to "help out a little". (Who are you kidding?? You won’t stop at a little, so don’t agree to “a little”.) A partial
commitment is like a man saying “I love you sometimes.” See? Less than worthless.
Step 2: Clarity
The question to set yourself up for success with Clarity is "What is likely to screw me up or slow me
down?"
Truth please.
Clarity is always all about telling yourself the truth.
Here you're going to look for and identify all the walking on eggshell situations
that could occur and eliminate those. Look for these: opportunities for negative comparisons, nervousness you'll mess up, anyone looking for continuous perfect performance or YOU THINKING you need continuous perfect performance.
Here I am introducing a new acroynym. S.F.L. I’ll give you two of the words.
STOP @#!%@ Lying. SFL to yourself.
DANGER: Not spotting the hazards on the path ahead because you are
not looking, pretending to be superwoman, don't want to deal with what you'll see or any other reason you use
to hide from any ugly truths (i.e. lie to yourself).
If you're going to start a business and you know you are really bad managing money -you need to face that ugly truth. You need to look it dead in the eye and correct it or delegate it or figure out some other way to cover it. Otherwise, it will stop you and slow you down.
If you have a busy time coming in your business and you know that your children or your lover distracts you - Clarity requires you to tell the truth about how distractible you are. Most Alphas are born Rescuers. So if your mate or your children send any type of "distress call" - you will probably drop everything and rush to their aid, whether they really need you or not.
Do you remember the ancient video game called Pitfall? The adventurer goes to the jungle and he has to swing on a vine over tar and traps and crocodiles. You have to be able to figure out in advance where your tar, traps and crocodiles are!
Be especially mindful of any situation where you feel like everything you do has to
be perfect. Listen carefully: you WILL screw up! If you are in any kind of a relationship (personal, family, business or otherwise) where your performance must always be A level, you're in deep trouble Alpha.
If you find that you were not good at spotting and telling the truth about the ways your new project can go sideways, bring in a friend or a coach like me. Other people can see
into your blind spots because our ego is not hiding the information.
When you find your traps, you must do something to fix them. Mitigate them. Avoid, swerve, deter and otherwise solve them before you get going. The keyword in that sentence was… Before.
Step 3: Choices
The Choice question is "What can I do to make this easier for me?"
In Choices, you are looking to make choices adding things that make what you want to do
easier.
All praise crutches! Everybody should be able to lose weight on their own. Weight Watchers IS a crutch. And…Weight watchers helps people lose a crap ton of weight.
If it will help you - use it!
Make choices that afford you extra speed. It is easy to use a map to navigate but most people use GPS now because it freaking talks to you! It's easier to have your map tell you you're going to turn right, than it is to lean across the console and try to find the darn street while you're
driving.
Hiring an assistant is a crutch. I presently have a team of five. Paying to work in a cool workspace is a crutch. I am so productive in mine. Paying extra to get the pre-boxed protein shakes from Costco that I love - crutch!
I have like 6 pounds of protein in my pantry.
(Don’t judge!) My ego will tell you all day that I should be at home with a blender mixing that powder and almond milk. Ha, I like my crutch! It saves me time.
Pay extra to buy shirts that don't wrinkle if you hate ironing. Figure out what choices you can make to make your project easier, so you get your success.
DANGER: Giving in to the "…but I SHOULDN'T need this help..." voice or going cheap. Pay the freaking money and smile while you do. Get good at paying for help!! It gives you speed and the only currency we all have equally is TIME. How are you using yours? Me? I'll buy speed.
Step 4 – Actions
The Actions question is "What is my first step to take right now?"
I promise that any project you're doing, considering or in the middle of, will work better if you do these
four steps.
***Setting yourself up for success means you pay attention to what you're doing, why you're doing it, what can block you, what you need to help you and where you need to start.
DANGER: This is where most of you want to start. So it's no wonder you get frustrated or fail to reach your goals. It's because you didn't do Steps One through Three first.
I also teach that Step Four is where the Universe acts. Most people don't begin anything because they're waiting for the Universe to take action first. You've heard the
famous quote, you take one step and God takes two.
Take the four steps. Do the work. Build a path to success.
Go create something amazing! (And then give me partial credit… What? I'm your coach, that's fair!).
