[Truth] Do You Know the 4 Painful Phases Required to Tell the Truth?

Published: Fri, 09/01/17

Photo of Tanya, Coach for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs

Do You Know the 4 Painful Phases Required to Tell the Truth?

This is why telling the truth is so HARD. I have an Alpha in Phase 4 right now. It’s a part no one expects and it flattens most Alphas who are new to telling their truth. Let's get you prepped just in case. Ready?

Phase 1: SEEING THE TRUTH.

Hard. Especially where the “truth” you are seeing involves YOU losing something you have or NOT getting something you want. Many, many folks do not ever get past this phase. Alphas are tough, we can see the truth (especially if you have a high-energy, loving, slightly mouthy black woman helping you).

Phase 2: TELLING THE TRUTH.

Umm harder. We have to tell the truth to OURSELVES first. Did you know that we lie to ourselves way more than anyone else? AND if you lie to yourself, you can’t be trusted to tell the truth others. Apply this to those around you. If you see BIG, SHINY truths that they are playing “hide-n-seek” with and never FINDING, they are lying to themselves.

IF YOU LIE TO YOURSELF, YOU MUST LIE TO OTHERS AS YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF TELLING THE TRUTH.

Most Alphas are periodically stuck here. You either only tell the truth in ANGER (not good) or after you’ve been hurt (also not good) or you keep quiet and squish the truth inside.

Now ask me why you are depressed, carrying extra pounds, can’t make money and don’t feel attractive? Bingo.

If you LIE to yourself, you must lie to others, as you are incapable of telling the truth.

Phase 3: ACTING ON THE TRUTH.

Scary! So many Alphas that CAN see the truth and tell themselves – yep, that’s how it is… but then can’t take the next right step. To leave that job, end that relationship, stop driving by the damn donut place and talk to the creditor you are avoiding. Acting consistent with the truth you KNOW means you BELIEVE IT and it is a huge clue to character.

Circumstances do not make the man, they only REVEAL him to HIMSELF --- Epictetus, Greek Philosopher 100 AD

To believe in something and not live it, is dishonest

----Mahatma Gandhi

Phase 4: HOLDING YOUR GROUND AGAINST YOUR OWN HEAD.

Crazily Hard. No one knows this, but if you run the gauntlet of Phases 1-3 you are in a for a nasty treat! A full-frontal assault from your Ego who is royally miffed about all this “truthing.”

Truth is a synonym for love, so…that is panic time in Ego world. It will come at you from every angle:

Look what you lost - lack
You spoke too late - timing
You said too much - judgment
You shouldn’t have listened to whoever said tell the truth (i.e. Alpha Women Coach)
You were doing just fine and look at this unnecessary mess - fatigue
You’ll never get back what you just threw away by doing that - fear

In short, it will do everything it can to put you into 3 corners of the Alpha Square of Doom – Resenting, Resisting and Regretting.

Ready for the solution?

Do NOT fight your head. It’s like trying to convince a drunk they are NOT drunk. The more you fight the more THEY fight. I want you to agree and keep repeating:

I have a choice and I choose truth.

If truth brings me trouble, so be it.

Isn’t this what you want your kids to do? Do the right thing and count the consequences later.

Isn’t this what we need our world leaders to do? Choose truth and if truth brings trouble, SO BE IT.

Set the example. You can and will survive Phase 4 of Truth Telling. Bonus, when you do it often enough, you cripple the ego’s strength.

P.S. To my Alpha in Spain right now, I love you. You are in Phase 4. You chose TRUTH. If truth brings you trouble, we will kick trouble's ASS together! Hold the line to want what you want and keep telling the truth and acting on it until it’s part of your character. A person IS what she constantly DOES.

P.P.S. Advanced Lesson – Don't fear truth. I have learned not to RESIST choosing truth or REGRET AFTER I chose truth. I now only worry if I didn’t! Truth IS protected by the Universe!

Photo of Host & Coach Tanya Stewart, Esq

I Show Alpha Women Entrepreneurs How to Stop Struggling in Your

Relationships, Own Your Potential, Build Your Business and BALANCE IT ALL.