When you pull down on the pulley of fear, what really happens is love is coming up!
Practical Application: When something is not working, focus on what can make it
better instead of what can stop it from getting worse.
Example: An Alpha fighting with her husband in a shaky marriage. He just said something horrible to you. Again.
If
you really want to save this marriage, which of these is the correct focus:
A) What could make this situation better right now? What can make me feel better right now? vs.
B) What do I need to DO to keep him from saying that dumb $#@! to me again?
A is the winner. It pulls in love to you and is about you.
Example: Your child is scared of the boogie man in the dark. You cannot reason away this fear, i.e., you cannot reduce the fear, turn down the knob or push their fear away.
What do you do? As a mom you know the answer, you pull in love. You
love them up to increase their feeling of security and protection.
You are that little child when things get really bad. When things hit the fan, find a way to pull in some love.
The Bible says perfect love casts out fear. They are like light and dark, matter and antimatter and cannot
occupy the same space. If fear is present, you cannot push it out unless you bring some love in.
Need another example? Guilt and forgiveness. Guilt is a form of fear and forgiveness is a form of love. If you want to lessen guilt, you need to increase the forgiveness. Have you ever just been able to stop feeling guilty??
This lesson applies year-round, for your entire life, but it's especially important at the holidays. You'll see fear masquerading as guilt, stress, excess, withdrawal, frustration and blaming.
Do not attack the fear (or your mother-in-law) and attempt to "solve it" Alpha. Turn UP the love in the situation.
Sometimes you can do that directly WITH the person that's the issue or sometimes just making the environment better will help.
As we approach our respective holidays (my trifecta is Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Eve) just remember that pulling in love is more reliable than trying to fix crazy family.