[Alphas] Feel Stress When Asking for Help? 3 Alpha Life Cycles...Surrender #3

Published: Wed, 10/17/18

Photo of Tanya, Coach for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs

Ask & You Should Feel RELIEVED…

In learning how to Surrender this month, we’ve talked about Preparing to Receive and Choosing to Allow.

Now for some sexy stuff! Confidently Asking is the last leg of Surrender.

Short Version:

You are Confidently Asking when you feel relief WHILE asking for the help, because your expectation of aid has no doubts. You are not waiting until help is received to relax.

Hint: A well studied sage suggested “Pray believing you have it”. And in his language, the word “prayer” translates similar to the word COMMAND. Confidently ASK.

Claim or Command Your Help Confidently

To get a better handle on claiming - answer these questions:

How often do you claim victory, when you don’t know HOW to make it happen?

Most Alphas will only claim success or feel good (i.e. in control) when they are, in fact, in control! If they don’t know HOW an end is to be obtained, they do not feel optimistic or happy about it.

This is the exact opposite of Surrender. In Surrender, you are not the only one on your side, so you can foresee good outcomes beyond your own abilities.

How often do you claim (use) your ability to ask for help, without procrastination or worry?

Confidently Asking for help is a skill set you want to practice. If you find yourself only asking after much procrastination and worry, you aren’t surrendering.

Confident Asking does not wait until you Bottom Out. It’s also NOT Confident Asking to ask but still “keep the problem active in your head”. Remember Stopping?

How often do you claim peace in the middle of your struggles?

When you ask for help, believing you’ll really receive it, you’ll feel peace right when you ASK - not after the help is given.

Think back to see if you felt peaceful AS you asked for help or if you only felt peaceful after you CONFIRMED the results.

When your Alpha (your leader) is healthy, they WANT you to ask with a comfortable sense of confidence.

Don’t you love it when a friend brings you her worry with, “I just know you’ll know what to say to help me feel better.” That confidence is really a blessing to its receiver.

Expectations Should Follow Claiming or Commanding

When we talk about expectations, the biggest problem I see is that it is confused with hope. I’ve previously discussed that Hope is a Four Letter word.

Hope is a problem because Hope has doubt in it. Doubt is fear. That is energy going the wrong way!

Expectations are very powerful, because Expectations are positive anticipation backed with certainty.

Should you form expectations on everything someone tells you or promises you? Of course not. But if the other person is your Alpha, they have the ability to lead you and the motivation to protect you.

When your Alpha says something will be so, surrender & expect it.

Now to pull off a biblical hat trick... (I’m fairly certain that combination of words has never been used in history!) A hat trick is a slang for pulling off three of something, usually three goals in a hockey game, here 3 posts applying useful bible pieces.

In a few places, the Bible says becoming like a little child will get you everything you want. That analogy is really about expectation and faith without doubt.

If you told a child you knew that you were taking them to Disney World next week, if you are their Alpha, they would believe you. They would expect to go.

Surrender needs that level of expectation of security and kept promises. When you have that, the Universe's rules for Expectation kick in.

Surrender done right is NOT for the meek. It is valiant and beautiful and well rewarded.

Next week we’ll summarize the 3 Alpha Life Cycles: Fight, Control & Surrender.

In Joy,

P.S. I have told clients over the years to contact me if they have an emergency. Some will, many won’t. Why not? Those that don’t, do not know how to confidently ask yet. When I gave them this promise, they doubt they can really claim it. They keep their problem to themselves until it’s a forest fire nearly out of control.

Hit reply and share with me if you’ve kept your “Get Out of Jail Free” cards instead of USING them when needed.

Tanya Stewart is "The Alpha Woman Coach" and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.

She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.

ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE

Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources