Boundaries = Freedom
Would you smile if I said “You need better boundaries…" Probably not. What if I said, “You can have the freedom you want.” Thought so!
This month we will work in an under-served area, showing you WHY You Want Boundaries, HOW You Set Boundaries and critically, How to RECOVER When Boundaries are Broken.
Behind the door of boundaries lies your freedom, let me show you…
First, Some Myths About Boundaries
Myth #1 - Boundaries Are About Other People
At its core, boundaries are about the relationship you have with you. They are more about you, then others. Your agreements with you impact others. Thus boundaries are indirect to others and direct to you.
Myth #2 - Boundaries Are Rules To Enforce
The connotation of the word "rule" is negative and inflexible. If you think of boundaries in this way, you will not want to set them, use them and will feel resistant when you encounter others' boundaries.
Think of your boundaries less like a rule and more like an insurance policy guaranteeing you can build your perfect square of Health, Wealth, Love and Mission.
Myth #3- Boundaries Make You Bitchy
Nope. Know who is the most bitchy? Women without boundaries! Constantly being pushed and shoved and helped last IS the prime driver of bitchiness. How you select and manage your boundaries can be done without drama.
Boundaries Are Our Requests For Respect
Think of someone you know that lets everyone take advantage of her. Do you respect her? No. Pity, maybe. Respect? No.
Respect is not the default for humans. We are pack animals. Pack animals have to find their place in the pack and their tier in the tribe. No one knows who the alphas are until they test their boundaries.
Respect is determined more by your boundaries and what you WON’T tolerate than from what you want and ask for. You cannot directly ask for respect (another indirect thing!). You "ask for" your current level of respect by not accepting any behavior below that.
Respect gives you freedom to choose and attracts support for those choices. Therefore, Boundaries give you Freedom.
Boundaries are Awesome. Who has more boundaries, a very poor person or a very wealthy person? That is NOT a coincidence!
You are valuable, protect YOU.
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P.S. I’ve had some very intense boundary
testing these past few weeks. The area where my boundaries were weakest, was with those who I love the most.
When you are single, you can place anyone you love, ahead of yourself in an emergency, because you alone will pay the price. Now have a mate, I am upleveling. I am reducing my world saving pastimes to better manage how much “me” I give away in an emergency. I am accountable to my mate for my state. (Yes, I liked
that rhyme!)
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Tanya Stewart is "The Alpha Woman Coach" and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level
Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.
She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon
Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.
[Relationships] Boundaries = Freedom Series #1
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