[Tools] The Whole Truth Series 2 of 4

[Tools] The Whole Truth Series 2 of 4 - Hearing Truth

Published: Wed, 02/13/19

Photo of Tanya, Coach for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs

Can I Tell You an Ugly Truth?

Can someone you DON'T like, tell you something you don't want to hear?

Can you HEAR the Truth?

You could be thinking, "Tanya, I can hear truth from people I TRUST..."

Ha! Actually, that's usually HARDER!

Last Week's Post - Can You SEE The Truth?

Truth from Enemies & Adversaries

"She said what?!? I'm not surprised, that crazy trollop hates me!"

Ok, maybe not your precise wording but something to that effect. You discount truths you hear from people who you don't like or you believe do not like you.

They must be up to something. Sabotage is afoot. Malice is in play. You go for a long swim in denial, which isn't just a river in Egypt!

Because you have already discredited the source of the information, you discredit what they share too.

Here's a famous quote that's endured for 2,400+ years for a reason:

There are only two people can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.

Antisthenes 360 B.C.

Hearing the truth is about the TRUTH and not about the source. You NEED that information so you can course correct what isn't working in your life.

Truth from Family & Besties

What am I hiding from hearing?

It is harder to hear difficult truths from those you love because difficult truths HURT. We transfer the pain of the truth to the messenger. (Remember the old phrase? "Don't shoot the messenger!" It also feels Greco-Roman and at least 2 millenea old).

We do not expect those we love to walk up and GIVE us pain, thus we resist, resent, regret and reject sticky truths from those we love.

Catch 22? You think you reject enemies and allow truth of friends and it tends to be reversed. You will DWELL on what your adversary says and rationalize away what your sister mentions.

What is your pattern?

How are you at hearing the truth? Can you take it straight up or do you need spoon fulls of sugar before and after it arrives? Do those who come to help you have to 1) tell you the truth 2) calm you down and then 3) heal the cuts you gave them by themselves?

If so, you are broadcasting that you "Can't handle the truth" and don't want it. Please be sure if you do this, you will attract lies, passive-aggressiveness and other F-ery.

My favorite 2 coaching words. STOP IT.

Source will show you truth and you need to let it IN.

In Joy,

P.S. One of the biggest challenges of having healthy relationships is learning how to LISTEN while someone you love tells you that you've missed the mark!

While they are talking instead of preparing your rebuttal, ask yourself "If they are right, what will I gain by fixing this?" It will help you drop the automatic defensive.

P.P.S. Come listen to my interview with an awesome Alpha! “The Power of Chicks: Expert advice to boost your confidence and create the inner and outer change that leads to true happiness”

Tanya Stewart is "The Alpha Woman Coach" and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.

She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.

ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE

Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources