[Alphas] The Priority Series: Bitches NEVER Rescue v.3 of 4

Published: Wed, 07/17/19

Photo of Tanya, Coach for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs

#11 Thou Shalt Not Rescue

She doesn’t fix other people’s messes. She does NOT rescue. Who is she? She is the wonderful "B" we are examining this month in The Priority Series: Bitches NEVER Rescue v.3 of 4.

Rescuing people, projects and other people’s feelings is the specialty of an Alpha. Bitches say no thank you.

Why?

Because they aren’t trying to buy the victim’s love and approval by fixing them. She already approves of herself and CORRECTLY Prioritizes HER OWN security first.

If that idea made you lift an eyebrow and your head immediately went to 3 exceptions...that’s okay. I’m not a total meanie...read on.

We've Learned Bitches: Don't Martyr and permit No Distractions

I want to help take the cringe factor out of that word, as we see yet another GOOD thing. The bitchy steer clear of fixing messes!

Mess? Crisis? Drama or Crazy? No Thank You.

This is simple. How often do you find yourself herding cats for other people?

Alphas live to rescue because it makes us feel good about ourselves. Makes us feel needed and subconsciously we think if they NEED us, they won’t LEAVE US. Not true as you know! But we stubbornly keep trying.

No Martyring + No Distraction = No Rescuing!

When you say no to being hurt to save others and no to being hijacked from your set course, rescuing falls off naturally.

Are there cases you should help? Yes. But is that your rule or your exception?

I have found that those I helped, usually didn’t want the help!

I had to ARGUE with them to save them. Stop doing those.

If you have to chase them to save them, you are definitely going the wrong way. Especially if you have to keep digging out the same hole for the same person.

"I SHOULD be working for my own advancement."

Stop for a moment and wonder how women have been socialized, that when said by a woman, it sounds Bitchy! Said by a man, strong & obvious.

Bitches Prioritize Their Security - Do You?

There's A Reason You Feel Unsupported (Unsafe)

We get what we think about.

We get what we believe.

We get what we expect.

You don’t expect or believe YOU'LL receive help, not really.

You think YOU should help because YOU can help.

You think about your struggle & fear being alone the day your strength finally fails.

Please spend the rest of the month concerned with your security. Resolve the majority of conflicts between another's security and your own in your favor. (I didn’t say ALL, but DO notice if just the idea feels liberating or constricting.)

Bitches are 100% self focused. We all agree that’s crappy.

Well guess what? 100% other focused is the same, opposite extreme

and just as crappy!

Stay out of some fights. Heal. Pick safe things. Negotiate for a profit. Don’t settle to appease a weaker person.

Just because you CAN take THEIR punch, does NOT mean you should. Spiritually, it is arrogant to do so. You prevent them from receiving the feedback to grow stronger. You substitute yourself as their “God” and are surprised when they then call on you for everything.

Avoid Drama. Stop Rescuing. Prioritize Your Safety. Be a better B.I.T.C.H. Alphas :-)

Get B.I.T.C.H.Y.

(Beautiful Intelligent Tactical Clear Happy YOU)

In Joy,

P.S. Let me be clear - Saying NO to rescue is not abandonment. Abandonment is our core wound and we will NOT do that. Choosing to avoid delaying/distressing yourself to help another already in distress, is a skill set you must develop. It requires Discernment. Sometimes we help, sometimes we shouldn't. If you cannot imagine saying no this month or even saying no to just the next 2 victims that call on you - consider that your discernment needs to level up. Permanent Rescuers breed Permanent Victims.

I know my own worth more than ever, so I see what saying YES to messes COSTS me and costs my family, who receives less of me. I love you and want you to be careful where you spend yourself Alpha and for whom.

BE a B.I.T.C.H.

Beautiful Intelligent Tactical Clear Happy

Tanya Stewart is "The Alpha Woman Coach" and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.

She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.

ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE

Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources