The Noticing Process – How to Reclaim Your MOST Rejected Pieces
To find the pieces you’ve thrown the farthest from you, you only need to notice traits you strongly dislike.
The process of
shattering, scattering and suppressing is a violence that you do to yourself. When a trait in you costs you approval, you begin to hate it. Then, you hammer at yourself to ‘break off’ that piece of you. All that violence leaves an energy signature similar to hate, dislike, prejudice, contemptuousness and revulsion.
When you see
the bits that you hammered off IN other people, it triggers those emotions again. That is how we will trace these lost pieces. Your dark emotions return to remind you of whatever bit you rejected.
Example: When you wear the color chartreuse it makes everything in your world go badly (i.e. makes people whose approval you want, not approve of you). Therefore, you’ve decided that the color chartreuse is at fault and you reject it. It is targeted for removal.
Now, when you
see chartreuse on someone else, you have a subconscious and visceral dislike of it (and perhaps even the wearer). It was removed because you thought it separated you from approval, love and security. So. You. Don’t. Like. It.
That dislike is the smoking gun.
What do you
dislike? What do you hate? What are you contemptuous of?
Mine
were:
Weakness Neediness Laziness Entitlement Irresponsibility Fluffiness
You read that
list and now you’re nervous. Maybe you dislike the same things I do. and How could it be really wrong to dislike those things?! It’s not wrong. The problem is ALL of those things ARE inside of us. I HAVE those things. I cast out all of the parts of me that I thought were identified with those things.
Want a
summarizing word for what I threw away in one big bucket sized handbag? - The Feminine. Yeah, that stung, but it was TRUE!
I had believed
what society told me about the feminine and associated it with the majority of those things I disliked. So, the aspects of me that were feminine pretty much had to go.
I became a
tomboy. Athletic. Excelled in math, physics & sciences (boy things!) And remember, Alphas identify primarily in masculine energy.
Because we’ve
rejected feminine traits, many Alphas tend to have problematic relationships with other women. It’s why we say most of our friends are men. When you do have women friends, it’s Alphas or women you protect.
Welcome to
the party girlie.
You will find
your strongest dislikes are attached to your most painful self-abandonments.