[Tools] Holidays: Family Feud Ain't Just a Game Show...7 Survival Rules

Published: Wed, 12/04/19

Photo of Tanya, Coach for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs

Family Feud Ain't Just a Game Show...

Let's survive your family at Christmas!

There no place like home...for getting triggered. Next thing you know, you are rolling your eyes, swearing under your breath or yelling at someone’s else child.

Nobody but NOBODY pushes your buttons like family.

Catch Up on The Art of Self-Rescue: Recognition, Reclamation, Restoration, Renovation

The Family Feud: 7 Survival Rules to Handling Family Over the Holidays

The Family Holiday - 7 Survival Rules

1) Don’t question it.

Do not try to figure out WHY this person or these people send you crashing down a slippery slope. Accept it. Tonight is not the time to analyze.

2) Avoid.

You read that right. Where you can, avoid that person, that topic, their home. Do not judge yourself for this. It’s kinder to everyone.

3) Plan your reply.

When you-know-who says or does you-know-what...state your pre-planned reply. And...repeat it as often as necessary until you can escape (See Rule #2).

You can say, “Normally, I’d get stressed but hey, it’s Christmas (insert holiday)...”. Say that, go to bathroom until coast is clear. Also golden, “I’d better grab those dishes/ help in the kitchen”. Say. Go. Avoid.

The Family Feud: Save Yourself This Holiday Season

Do NOT Try to Fix Them, Just Save You

4) Reward yourself.

Honor your own good behavior in the face of provocation. Plan something nice in advance. Yes, you are an adult but trust me, “be good or no gifts” will still work on you!

5) Praise.

Praise any and ALL good behaviors you see in your family. Note: Crazy people being only annoying SHOULD get praise. Relative to their “normal” they are doing well and need reinforcement for moving in a positive direction.

6) Pre-Plan next year.

If unavoidable F*kery ensues, announce now what you WILL be doing next year. Do not say, “I’m not getting stuck making all the desserts again.” Say, “Next year, I’m happy to bring two desserts.” Then remind on that starting at Halloween.

7) Emergency Out.

If drastic measures are called for, next year plan a vacation during the holiday. And make sure you book it at least three or four months before the holiday so you can remind people, “Oh I’m soo sorry, I got this awesome ticket deal months ago and I won’t be there at Christmas…"

If you follow these guidelines with the most extreme characters in your family, you will be able to navigate even a difficult holiday season. The trick is not to try to mend, fix or work out anything. After New Years is a fine time for that heavy lifting!

Your family doesn’t need all these preparations?

Rejoice & stay on #5, as you are blessed!

More Help:

[Alphas] Why Is My Family Soo Stressful?

[Family] The Parable of The Garden Hose

[Stress] Crazy Family? My Best & Easiest Solution (My favorite!)

In Joy,

P.S. Most families have those you like, love, tolerate, rescue and fight with. (Might all be ONE person!) This is NORMAL. Don’t try to be a Norman Rockwell painting and you’ll feel less stressed.

Something will burn, someone won’t show up, someone else will come very late and somebody may need to borrow money. It’s OK, just get your baking dishes back. Welcome to the holiday season! Decide in advance on a number of screwups BEFORE you even consider losing your cool. 3-5 is a good goal.

Tanya Stewart is "The Alpha Woman Coach" and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.

She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.

ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE

Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources