#4 Give Approval Without EARNING It
Follow me because this is going to be super helpful to some of you...
An Alpha woman is in a masculine state. It's a state of doing and providing, giving and controlling, THINKING and ANALYZING.
What we really, really (pretty please with a cherry on top) want is for you to ASK for our Ideas! Opinions! And if I fantasize, PLANS!
Ask us HOW we are going to do something, WHAT we are going to do and then BLESS IT.
Here is a secret trick. Ready guys? (You OWE me for this one...)
It doesn't matter WHAT the plan is about or for! I can be her plan to get the kids' school shoes for less. It could be her thoughts on why the government isn't working. It could be her idea for making more space in the GARAGE.
Just ask, listen and approve.
Now, what if you don't agree? Ask your Alpha questions, make her "defend" her plan and then agree that she's thought it through and it COULD work.
You don't have to approve of how she's disciplining the kids if that is your current fight. You don't need to approve of who she's voting for if that's a sore spot.
You don't need to approve of the money she just spent hiring me to coach her and save your marriage (okay...THAT one you should!).
You get the picture. ANY APPROVAL WILL DO.
I think I fell in love with my husband while we were dreaming and plotting our joint entrepreneurial empires! He wanted to let me play. He liked my ideas. He respected my opinion. Boom. Approval!
Yes, men, that is what YOU want from her and struggle to get - RESPECT. Oddly enough, your woman wants it from you too.
We feel fragile inside. Like imposters and we need constant and continual streams of approval, which we have to "pay" other people to get (using our Alpha crisis manager/rescuer/fix any damn-thing skills).
One of my best trainings is here: Approval is Our DRUG